Author: Alison Sigmon

Over the years I’ve had a lot conversations with people -and quite a few experiences myself – with giving bad news. The general consensus seems to be that we all prefer a root canal without anesthesia over giving bad news. What is it about delivering bad news that makes it so tough? While everyone experiences such events differently, there is some science behind the struggle. So consider this Have you ever walked away from a major stakeholder meeting feeling confident everyone was aligned and enthusiastic about a new project only to learn later they hate the idea and are quietly withdrawing support even though you’re still on the hook for it? Ouch. Remember that time when you worked so hard on a proposal, project plan, design, or research paper, and it was ripped to shreds by others? Really??? How could they not see the brilliance you slaved to create? How did you feel when you had to tell a sponsor of a project or perhaps a loved one something you knew would likely throw the project, a team, or life into a tailspin? Need Ibuprofen and a bed. Now. We’ve all had professional and personal situations where we’ve had to give and receive bad news. Whether you are the giver or receiver of bad news, any sentient being will feel it and in some cases literally feel it. And its mostly likely to be felt as a rejection. I ran across a good article called Psychologists: Physical and Social Pain Hurts the Same Way which looks at how social rejection can be experienced like physical pain. Most people can vividly recount moments as children and adults where they experienced rejection or what was perceived as rejection. The pain associated with those experiences can be so intense and deeply felt that the person may now have an ineffective technique when giving bad news or may simply avoid doing it at all. Researchers found that people who are more sensitive to physical pain typically experience social pain and rejection more acutely. And to add yet another twist to the findings, when these people were given Tylenol for three weeks, they experienced less emotional pain. It didnt say if giving or receiving bad news got any easier. I imagine that part doesnt change. Its just how we cope with it internally and how we manage it with others. To understand why giving bad news can be difficult, ask yourself a few things: What kind of reaction did (or does) your boss, an authority figure, or someone you care about have to bad news? How do you physically feel in response to their reaction? What helps you work past the experience so you can move towards a solution to the problem? As a kid when you saw one adult giving bad news to another adult, how did they take it? Anger, withdrawal, sadness? What did that feel like to you? Good, bad, scary, threatening? What does rejection mean to you? If you’re giving bad news is their response really rejection of you or are your emotions influencing your interpretation? How can you stay focused on the situation and not let the pain of delivery and their response get in the way? Once we have insight into why we respond as we do (stomach ache, headache, anger, mean words, blame, defensiveness, withdrawal, freezing up, or pass it off to someone else), then we can get a grip on managing our internal response. This will then free us up to focus on finding solutions faster. While giving bad news will likely sting on some level no matter how aware and prepared you are, there are a few things you can do to mitigate the situation. Get a handle on your own emotions by spending time with your response to the bad news first. What you consider to bad news may not be for the receiver so check your assumptions. Plan how and when you’re going to share it. Do not avoid or delay. It will only make the situation worse. Accept you cant completely change the response of the receiver, but you can definitely influence it through preparation and delivery. Be direct, focused, and empathetic. Line up the facts. Be prepared to share your position. Give the receiver time to recover from the news. Their response is more about them and their fear, concern, etc than you. Have solution recommendations on hand to facilitate next steps. With preparation, understanding, and focus, bad news does not have to be the end of the world but instead can be an opportunity once the dust settles.   This article was first published on Mindscraping.com.

Just as politicians pay close attention and respond to the opinions of constituents, so must project managers when leading a project. For a project to be successfully delivered, it’s critical to get collective action from a group of people who may have very different interests. Easier said than done. Because team member opinions vary regarding the technical approach, structure, content, and outcome of the project, project managers may spend much more time communicating with team members than doing any another type of work in the project. The key to achieving collective action and creating a sense of belonging among team members is to engage them in playing an active role throughout the project. Team member opinions come with a host of beliefs, biases, attitudes, and positions. The first step in moving toward engaging team members is gaining insight into their Perception and Expectations. Spending time with team members, asking them questions, listening to their thoughts and experiences, and getting their perspective creates the opportunity to deepen their commitment and sense of belonging. It’s also important for project managers to understand that emotions and thoughts are close, interactive partners that need care and feeding throughout the project for team members to feel they are part of the process. Gaining understanding of their Perception and Expectations is a component of the second step which is The Exchange. Prior to The Exchange, project managers must carefully consider what needs to be accomplished to have time together considered well spent. Whether engaging team members to participate in solving a problem, giving advice, determining project direction, or brainstorming an approach, the following are simple steps to use during The Exchange that will give team members a deeper sense of belonging and being part of the project: Listen and probe with objective, reflective, and interpretive questions; paraphrase. Establish mutual agreement on the issue/opportunity. Collaborate to identify a solution. Determine the steps needed to implement the solution. For the first two steps to be effective, team members and project managers must commit to the third step of the process: Follow-through. It requires that project managers and team members assume accountability, make adjustments throughout the project, and ask for help as needed. Its also important to remember holding someone else accountable requires being accountable, which means doing what you say you’re going to do. Working to understand team member Perception and Expectations, using the steps of The Exchange, and practicing Follow-through create a sense of belonging, which supports the team acting in a collective manner. Its been said that people own what they help to create, and that means actively engaging team members at regular intervals to provide input and perspective. Consensus wont always be achieved, but if these steps are observed, a project team culture of belonging will be experienced within the team.  

I have had the pleasure of working with a variety of clients in the technology, film, media, banking, and energy industries. Through those experiences I’ve had a first-hand view of the issues they encounter on their projects. On the surface it would seem that NONE of these companies have anything in common, but when you peel back the content of their respective projects, the common denominator becomes obvious. They all have a TON of projects, extremely LIMITED resources, global competition and financial PRESSURE, and rapid, chronically shifting CHANGE. Effective project management is challenging at the best of times, and adding these kinds of pressures and constraints makes it even more daunting but not impossible. It starts with helping others get comfortable with change. So guess what? That makes you, project managers, change agents. Getting on the same page Getting stakeholders aligned with and excited about the project vision can be challenging, and creating the stakeholder ownership needed to make the project happen takes time and consideration. It’s rare that stakeholders embrace the project vision with the same enthusiasm as the people who created the original concept, but it’s not impossible to realize. With behavior-based tools, techniques, and some patience and understanding, a project manager can create a compelling story of why it is important to the business and what it will produce. What change means The completion of a project usually guarantees that someone somewhere is going to have to do something different from what they’ve done previously, which means a change is going to occur. Historically, stakeholders are slow to warm to change, and it’s crucial to understand that when leading a project, project managers are leading change. This obviously puts you, project manager, into a catch-22 situation. When the problem or opportunity to be addressed by the project, sense of purpose for the effort, and indicators of success are not clearly understood among stakeholders, considerable time and energy can be wasted. This can result in personality conflicts that are actually unresolved conflicts over what is supposed to be accomplished. Using the following tips can help stakeholders feel less resistant to the change and create understanding and purpose quickly. Change with context Use tools to facilitate involvement and ownership to the outcome. When meeting with stakeholders, start with the problem or opportunity that created the need for the project: create context for the current state. Help stakeholders see the advantage to the business to leverage the opportunity or to address the problem through exploring the conditions that generated it. Use a simple process to promote quick understanding and purpose. The story about the business situation and ensuing change should light up the hearts of the people who will work on and pay for the project. Involve stakeholders throughout the project so they can participate in shaping and defining the change the project will create. They will be more likely to “own” it. Use group facilitation tools like Affinity Process, Scope Facilitation Technique, and Force Field Analysis to help align their assumptions. Create the project story through storyboarding. Doing this well throughout the project will build clarity and commitment among stakeholders and create an agreement that can serve as a “stake in the ground” or common reference point when disagreements crop up. Effect change by generating awareness so get them involved early and often. Get the the right people involved at the right time. Understand and manage stakeholder expectations by determining if the project objectives are in conflict with stakeholder objectives. Get on the same page with nomenclature and acronyms – inconsistencies with these are a time killer and generate frustration for all involved. Be present. Ask questions. Listen. Facilitate. This is a behavioral activity not a technical one.   Being a change agent involves helping stakeholders see the strategic value of the project. It’s getting them involved early and often and using tools to get them engaged, ensuring expectations are aligned and reaffirming commitment and ownership throughout the project.